i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
