So drunk its hurt
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
