Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
