It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
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