Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
COCAINE IS GR8
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
