I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
