yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize