it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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