Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Randomize
