when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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