i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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