Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
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This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
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Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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