Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Randomize
