That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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