I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
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