Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
