Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
you inspire me to be a worse person
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize