so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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