dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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