I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize