ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
