I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
meet me or not, i'm out of control
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize