shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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