Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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