Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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