i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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