ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
