There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
