My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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