I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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