he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
