Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Boobs are out for the taking
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
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