i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
