Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
