Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
i need some magic done to my vagina
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
