I just pynch a tree in the face
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
