mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize