I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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