Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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