woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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