I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
