you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
