Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
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Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
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I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I still have a little drunk in my system
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
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