I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
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