I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
