problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
