This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
