so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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