Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
