you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
