This girl is more easily done than said...
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
