some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Randomize
