you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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