I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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