"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
