Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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