And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
