Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I need to stop coming to work sober
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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