That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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