Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
