I've blown a few things in my day
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing