He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
21 Texts That Prove All the Magic Happens in Parking Lots
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman