Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool