Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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