he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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