Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
