Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Randomize
