Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Ladies don't puke and tell
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
